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©2008-2009 *TreuVonTrapp
:icontreuvontrapp:

Artist's Comments

Meet Avalanche.
If you cannot tell, she's in a ballet studio. (No I didn't get the idea from Twilight. This is something completely different.) Her ballet shoes lay discarded on the floor and the light from the window throws her shadow and reflection at the mirror.
I've loved the name Avalanche since I first heard this song in high school. I rediscovered the song and well. Here it is.


Avalanche's problem is.. well.. let me explain in song:

Avalanche is sullen and too thin.
She starves herself to rid herself of sin
and the kick is so divine when she sees bones beneath her skin
and she says, 'Hey baby can you bleed like me.
C'mon baby can you bleed like me?"

Garbage - Bleed like Me


--
By the way. I WANT those pants. They are all diamond-y. And the top is way awesome, which I also want.

--
Adv. Crit. Because I don't know how I did. Can you see her ribs alright? Is the idea clear? Do you understand what's going on here?
I tried as hard as I could to get everything to show up. I can see it all on paper, but on the scan.. I had to do a lot of darkening, and some magical heal brush-ing to fill most of the lines back in. But i still drew it, and was only trying to make it look like it did on paper, so it's Trad. Oh yeah, and if you can't see something, tell me and I'll try to fix it. Thanks :heart:

Yes, I think I sort of almost stole :iconignisalatus:'s style, and I'm going to tell her. I was also inspired by another of my deviant friends, who will remain unnamed. Please know that while I am aware of your battle I will not even attempt to comprehend the magnitude at which you feel this. You are always in my thoughts. :heart:

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edit
if anyone wants to see this character as she would look if i had talent, go look at this beautiful art by *IgnisAlatus [link]

Critiques


:icongimpykitty:
You wanted an advanced critique, so I'm going to give it a go.
What I like most about this picture is the expression on the girls face. It shows fear and struggle.

Everything else is a work in progress.

First, I'll talk about the figure itself. The main figure has no proportions whatsoever; arms that are too long, and legs that are too short. You asked if the ribs looked okay. Honestly, my first response to that was that they look for like a lump on her stomach. I think that if her hips were a little wider, the ribcage would look better, but as it is, it just looks sloppy. Also, the shoulder is too far back on her body. With all her weight being pushed forward toward the mirror, the shoulder would be more forward, and her back would line up with her neck.

Moving on to the perspective:
The floor pattern and the angle of the walls does not match up all that well, but I do like how you at least made the floor tiles that were farther away a little smaller. And from this angle, the pole along the wall would not be parallel to the floor. Have you ever heard of the "horizon line" when drawing? It really helps with the perspective of buildings and structures. The only other thing I would mention about perspective is her reflection in the mirror. Mirrors give an exact opposite reflection of what is before them, so her feet shouldn't be at the bottom of the mirror, but more along the same distance from it as the actual girls feet are. And the floor tiles should also be reflected, even if you made them look warped to go with the shadow girl.
I would say that you should do some figure sketches or gesture drawings to get used to the proportions of the human figure.

If you need any visual references on the human figure, or "horizon lines" don't be afraid to ask me. I may not be a fantastic artist myself, but I know/can help with the basics.

I would love to see this picture re-drawn after some more improvement in drawing techniques. It has real potential, and so do you. I hope that nothing I've said has sounded offensive to you.
The Artist thought this was FAIR
6 out of 6 deviants thought this was fair.

Thank you for your Critique

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December 17, 2008
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